Yes, I know at first glance this looks like a condom ad, but it's not. Read on, MacDuff!
I usually ignore commercials but I saw a really compelling ad on Facebook for these gadgets and figured they were worth taking a chance on, and they arrived this morning.
The idea is that you or your family member have an accident and/or your car crashes into water, but as everything is electric, you can't break the windows. Also, your seatbelt might be jammed. So someone (in Germany) has designed these sleek little tools with a glass breaker at one end and a seatbelt knife blade at the other. A pack of two results in a cost of £17.47 each, and they come with little glass discs to practise on, and sticky dashboard holders.
We have two cars now (my son is learning to drive) so I figured it was a good investment. The chances of having an accident and falling into water are hopefully minimal, but I figure not zero. And I understand the buying power of these can rely on the fear you have for your loved one drowning in a sinking car when you could have prevented it by buying these, but they seem to have good reviews on Trust Pilot
I also get that only those who use it and it works for and survived, would write the most useful review.
There are a lot of very similar products out there, but you can order these from Amazon currently for £34.72 per pair.
If I die in a drowning car then you will know that they didn't work.
The older I get, the grumpier I become, especially with things falling apart seemingly shortly after I buy them.
But is it really poor workmanship that we're all getting scammed by, or just my perception of time?
To try to figure this out and maybe combat it, I'd like to try to write long-term reviews of purchases. Not just the quick 'Four days later' review that Amazon demands.
So here's the first one.
My red running shoes are falling apart, as are my knees, so I thought it was high time to invest in another pair of runners. I chose these Asics from Sports Direct and the shop assistant also suggested some Slazenger gel insoles at £5, so I cut them to size and put them in.
Day 1: very happy with them out the box. I'll let you know how I get on with my first run.
My right knee has been hurting, just under the kneecap, and the google AI machine suggested this was patellar tendonitis, and that the standing quad stretches I have been doing before and after running for 40 odd years could be damaging. That and the old shoes. Jumper's knee it's called apparently. Hence the trip to Sports Direct.
So no stretching, no running, no crawling for me, at least for the next few days.
This is day three after the run and already feels much better.
I woke up this morning with a headache and the remnants of a nightmare about going back to work, its tendrils still in my nostrils. I was teaching two new classes in a lecture hall, and I couldn't get any of the kids' names right, nor even read their handwriting on the register. Also construction work was being done on my old classroom and no-one had bothered to tell me.
The headache I have attributed to being out in the midday sun (like a mad dog or Englishman) yesterday, trimming the bushes at the front of the the house. However, I am currently rehydrating and already feeling better.
I won't be going for a run though until the pain in my head and knee abates so I'm afraid you will have to be patient for the next installment!
Last night, after a ten-day abstention from alcohol, I thought I'd treat myself to a couple of Stellas and a film. So I sat down and searched through Amazon Prime Movies, rated 15 or 18, four stars or above, and scrolled down to 'End Of Watch' (2012) with Donnie Darko (Jake Gyllenhaal) and that Mexican chap who's really good (Michael Peña, actually American), an LAPD drugs cartel cop thriller. I think the phrase 'From the writer of Training Day' may also have swayed me (David Ayer).
I'll be honest, the opening scenes kind of put me off a bit, but I stuck with it as I had a feeling this could be part of the character arc in the story, as the cops seemed to be really blasé and shallow, and I feared a repeat Jarhead performance. (To be fair to Jake Gyllenhaal I think I watched that on a plane) But as things began to unfold I realised 'shit was going to get heavy' pretty soon.
The camera shots were very shaky at times, presumably to express the chaos of the situation, and added to the tension, not knowing which was up. You just knew everything was going to go badly wrong. And even when things went right, you still knew things were going to go ... badly wrong, just from a greater height.
But some of my favourite themes running through Training Day appeared here as well, especially 'honour among police' as well as 'honour among thieves'. Ayer really cuts to the heart with this one, and the finalé (coupled with the alcohol) left me a broken and weeping man.
But damn, that was good. 9/10.
Michael Peña was nominated for the Independent Spirit Award for Best Supporting Male for his performance in this film.
What else have I been up to?
Decided to start a new script for West Lothian Film since 'What The Maid Sawed' had run its natural course. So on Thursday I got another idea for what seemed to be at first sight an amusing and potentially leg-having cross-genre story. But I can't tell you the title because that would give the whole thing away and you might run off with it yourself, write an award-winning script and film and produce it and win several oscars in the time it takes me to finish it myself.
Suffice it to say I rattled out the first scene yesterday, we read it at the group and it got a couple of laughs. So I'm satisfied.
I also finally completed the edit of a 30 minute documentary about my visit back to St Andrews last summer, which has been on my to-do list for six months. 30 minute seems a bit long now and I doubt many will watch it to the end, but I don't know how to cut it down further. Ideally I suppose, it should be under twenty minutes. I might have another stab at it. Unfortunately in parts the sound is affected by the wind, but do I want to try to re-record everything and do a redub? Will it look and sound natural? I guess all I can do is try. Won't make it any worse eh?
That's all I can think of at the moment. Trying to get back up to 100% attendance at my writing desk to finish off 'The Luminari', but there is a constant battle between my desire to stay up late and my desire to get up early. In order to get up at 6:15am I need to physically climb into my bed at 10pm, read for a bit, and lights out at 10:15pm. Who does that? Eight hours. Sounds easy, doesn't it? But it ain't. I need to sacrifice one for the other. I have to give my finger to the night. (Sounds like a Chris de Burgh song).
