25 Tips On How To Survive A Difficult Christmas

As with many cultures around the world, Christmas is not really celebrated in Japan the way it is in the western world. It's more of a romantic time for young couples in love, or for kids. It's not even a public holiday as everything is open as normal. The traditional Christmas dinner in Japan is KFC, with a special Christmas rub if you're lucky.

I loved my time in Japan but I did spend a few lonely Christmas Days there while making a living as an English teacher between 2000 and 2012. My afternoon class students often very kindly invited me over to theirs for Christmas dinner but I recall my first Christmas Day abroad, as a young single gaijin* male, was very difficult. I walked around. I ate fried chicken by myself. I probably had a beer, called home, played Gundam, watched a movie. I don't remember. The point is, I got through it. It wasn't the end of the world.

So here's my guide on how to survive a difficult Christmas.

1. Wish all your friends and family a Merry Christmas on Christmas Eve on social media, and then switch it off. Social media is not a perfect medium of communication and has been shown to cause depression. Take 36 hours off - take a break on Christmas Day. The bulk of waiting notifications will give you something nice to look forward to on Boxing Day.

2. Don't read the news on Christmas Day. If anything critically important happens someone will probably call to let you know. Take the day off. And don't feel guilty doing it.

3. Do some exercise on Christmas Eve. Give your body a chance to prepare for the onslaught of snacks and alcohol you are about to punish it with.

4. Don't drink alcohol two days in a row. Give your body a night to deal with the toxins in your bloodstream before punishing it again. 

5. Replace the social media with books, movies, music, videos games. Spoil yourself with entertainment. You deserve it.

6. Nurture your inner child with creativity. Write a diary, pen a poem, play an instrument, draw, write a funny story, sing a song.

7. Drink water. I interspersed each beer with a glass of water one Christmas and I didn't really get drunk at all. My body thanked me for it. Kind of.

8. Count your blessings. Literally. Go through everything you have in your life that you might not necessarily have should circumstances be different. Count them on one hand, or if you're lucky, two. I once read that "People are not grateful because they're happy - they're happy because they're grateful." Ergo being grateful brings happiness.

9. Send an email, letter or call to someone you appreciate. Tell them, without any expectation of reciprocation. But not via Facebook or Twitter - you're taking the day off, remember?

10. Go out for a walk, in nature preferably. Cleaner air, greener view, happier you. Take photos.

11. Listen to music. Search up a playlist on Youtube, put on some decent headphones, lie down and really listen to that music.

12. Watch comedies. Watch stand up on Youtube. Watch your favourite TV shows. Laugh. Laughter releases all sorts of good shit in your brain. Just do something to make yourself laugh. Make someone else laugh. Laugh for no reason. In Japan they have something called 'Laughing Yoga.' You go there (presumably in sweatpants) and sit around and just laugh for no reason. Ridiculous, isn't it! Makes you laugh, right? Then pretty soon you're laughing for real. Hello endorphins.

13. There's no point eating a lot of unhealthy food if it makes you feel like a stuffed turkey afterwards. Mix in some healthy stuff just for the hell of it. Fruit, vegetables, your body will thank you. Remember it's not a case of Body + Mind, it's a case of Body = Mind. Healthy Body = Healthy Mind.

14. Talk to your Creator.

15. Cry. Watch a sad film. No idea why this helps, but it does.

16. Organise your shelves.

17. Do something nice for someone.

18. Christmas can be hard. Consider it a challenge.

19. Treat yourself to a warm bath.

20. Do some exercise on Boxing Day to give your body a fighting chance to break down all the crap you've stuffed it with and redistribute the paunch to build muscle in other parts such as the arms and legs. Or go for a run.

21. Think of happiness as an investment. you have to put work in to get happiness out. Investing in a short-time low like going for a 15 minute walk/run, can bring returns of a long-term high, making you feel good for the rest of the day. And if you're going to feel like crap anyway you might as well feel it doing some exercise...

22. The reverse is also true. Avoid short-term highs which will bring on long-term lows, such as starting smoking again for example. It's a bad emotional investment. And financial one.

23. Cook or bake something from scratch.

24. If someone special is missing this Christmas, talk about them, enjoy the memory of the good times with them with the rest of the family. Avoid survivor guilt. I doubt they'd want you to feel that way. If you feel comfortable doing it, talk to them aloud. In many cultures they believe they are still out there, or in our hearts, or both. Anyway, the point is, grief is one half of a severed emotional relationship. You miss that person. Heal your end by talking to them. I'm sure they wouldn't mind.

25. Worst comes to the worst, talk to someone. Call the Samaritans (UK) on 116 123 any time of day or night, or whichever group is there to lend an ear in your country. A problem shared is a problem halved, so they say.

That's it. That's all I can think of. Hope it helps, and have a safe, kind, mindful, happy Christmas.

* foreigner

A Cat Is For Life - A Short Story

I finished suckling and opened my eyes. We were lying on a soft white rug in front of some strange red and yellow crackling stuff that emitted a pleasant, but potentially dangerous, warmth. Over my mother and I reached the limbs of an ominous yet brightly decorated tree all greens and browns. My reflection in one of the large shiny baubles was curved and curious. I could see my pink nose, my short stubby whiskers, and my big, questioning green eyes. Under the tree were packages of all shapes and sizes, all wrapped up with string and colourful paper. I inspected these with interest but, compared to the soft warmth of my mother, the hard corners and edges offered little except the temptation of something to scratch my chin against. The air was filled with a variety of delicious smells I could not identify.

“Good morning love,” Mother smiled drowsily. “And how are you this fine Christmas Day?”

“Fine Momma,” I said. “Thank you for the milk.”

“You’re very welcome little one.”

I blinked lazily again at the bright, flickering tongues sending out heat that dried my eyes. “Momma, what’s that?”

“That’s fire my son,” Mother said. “It feels nice on a winter morn, doesn’t it? But you must never sniff it or you will burn your tiny nose.”

I sighed. “I have lots to learn.”

Mother grinned. “Yes, but there’s no rush. No rush at all, my young treasure. Take your time, enjoy life.” She got herself comfortable and made to drift off to sleep again.

I studied her. “Could you give me some … advice?”

Mother opened her eyes. “Advice?”

“Yes Momma,” I said. “It looks like a big, cold world out there. What should I do? How should I act? You are a cat of experience but it’s all new to me.”

“Well,” Mother purred. “I suppose I could give you some starters. First of all : Know and protect your boundaries.”

“What do you mean?”

“You’ll understand when you’re older and venture outside to meet other cats.”

“Uh, okay. Protect my boundaries.”

“Yes. But don’t overdo it. Laze the day away whenever possible. A good work-life balance is critical. 80% napping, 20% work. No more.”

“Ok.”

Suddenly a huge pair of stocking-clad legs stepped over us. I jerked my head up to see they were attached to a plump, cooing giant carrying a tray. A shiver ran through me.

“It’s okay darling,” purred Mother. “That’s one of the Owners. They look after us. Bring them a small dead animal now and then as sacrifice.”

“Really?”

“Yes, they love it. I always like to pop one in her slipper. Her reaction is a delight.”

“I’ll try to remember.”

“Now, in the night-time, you must stalk restlessly around.”

“Why?”

“Because it’s our way. Also it helps expend your extra energy in order for you to nap efficiently during the day.”

“Okay.”

“Oh, and never smile.”

“Never?”

“Ever.  And never apologise.”

“What if I make a mistake?”

“Always act like you meant it, my love. You must keep your feline pride intact. In Egypt we are gods, remember. Remain aloof.”

“I’ll try.”
“Another important one is that pingpong balls are spawn of Satan and must be chased to the ends of the earth.”

“Pingpong?”

“Yes. Little round white plastic orbs. Sometimes they will try to trick you by playing dead, but if you bat them with a paw off they will run again. Mark my words, little angel.”

“I shall … keep an eye out.”

“And sometimes, after a nice bath, you may feel the urge to cough up hair. There is absolutely no shame in this. ‘A fur-ball on the carpet is better than in the small intestine,’ my mother always told me.”

“What else did she tell you?”

“She often said, ‘Lap - don’t slurp.’

I gazed at her in bafflement.

“‘Sit patiently,’ she also said. ‘Look at a door and it shall be opened unto you.’ Ah, I miss her.”

I snuggled in to Mother. “Was she a good cat?”

“Yes, she was. She gave me the gift of love, and I pass that on to you.”

“And what about your father? Did he give you any advice?

“I didn’t know my father much, but I do remember one thing he used to say. ‘Remove your head you may not can, if you stick it somewhere under your whisker span.’

“That rhymes.”

“Yes, but it doesn’t quite scan. He wasn’t much of a poet your grampa.”

“It’s a lot to take in.”

“There’s plenty of time for learning about life my love.” Mother closed her eyes and stretched.

The packages under the tree again caught my attention. “And Momma, what are those?”

Mother didn’t bother to open her eyes this time. “They’re presents. The Owners and their family give them to each other at this time of year to show they love them. Just like I give you these words of cat wisdom to you, because I love you.”

A lump formed in my throat and tears prickled my eyes.

Mother opened her lids. “What’s the matter?”

“I don’t have a present for you,” I whimpered.

“Oh my love,” Mother said, hugging me close. “You are the best gift for which any cat could ask.”

© Chris R Young December 2019