The Pursuit of Will Power

Good morning world!

This edition is beamed to you from a sleepy, drizzly, mild last Sunday in April in Scotland.

The locals have barely surfaced. The roads are quiet. The dogs, save those yapping, are napping. We'll just let those ones lie.

I would like to share my thoughts with you about will power; my wonderings, my questions, my confusion.

What is it and where does it come from? How does one generate more, if possible?

Oscar Wilde once said, "I can resist anything except temptation." But what does this mean? Is he saying it's okay to give in to cravings? Or is he just identifying that, like me, he has little will power? Or is he just making an amusing and clever comment, which starts off strong: "I can resist anything" and ends : "except temptation" which is of course the vehicle by which we are transported to what we want; a streetcar named Desire.

These days I find myself drifting along with a vague sense of impending doom. As if I'm in a rowing boat on a river heading for the top of a waterfall. I really should row. But it's just such a pleasant ride. The riverbanks are bustling with bunnies, the sun is sparkling on the water, the birds are singing, the fish are leaping over the prow. Ahh, it's so pleasant just to lie here with my feet up on the edge without a care in the world.

Wait, is that a faint splashing I can hear? Is that crashing crescendo getting louder? Hmf, it's still a long way off. I'll deal with that when it comes.

But hey, it's such a lovely ride. Sit here with me for a little while. Enjoy it.

Which brings me back to will power. How to get it? I could row if I wanted to, but I don't. 

The thought occurred to me not long ago that perhaps will power is a muscle, like physical power. You gain it by using it. And at the very least, things will get done in pursuit. If I install the loft ladder perhaps this will give me the strength to lay the insulation. If I force myself to dig the garden maybe I will gain the wherewithall to plant things. At the very least the loft ladder will be installed and the garden will be dug.

Then again there's the question of life. I was saddened recently to hear of the passing of Jerry Springer at 79. If someone so likeable, successful and famous can't cheat death, then what chance have the rest of us got? Sean Connery made it to 90. He definitely squeezed every last drop out of life.

So maybe the question shouldn't be : "Where does one get more willpower?" Perhaps it should be : "How can one live better?" And by better I mean longer, happier, and leaving the world a better place than how you found it.

But the irony is you really need willpower to live a longer, happier life which leaves the world a better place. Sitting on the sofa all day, every day, watching box sets and chowing down on mint Aeros is not going to cut it.

So, to summarize then. What have we learnt from this morning's musings? 

I guess, as with everything, it's balance. Balance the box sets and Aeros with jogging and carrots. Balance the lying in the boat trailing fingertips in the water with periods of frantic rowing. Balance the work with the joy.

Yin and yang, innit?

Yin without Yang is like Cheech without Chong

Maybe laziness is like fear. It's there to be overcome. It's not just about doing the things you want when you want. It's about wielding the savage sword of will power and smiting down your laziness with one fell swoop, thus washing the dishes and checking the tyre pressure of your car, not 'when you feel like it' but when it's appropriate.

As the winged goddess of victory once quoth, "Just do it." 

And as Larry the Cable Guy once quoth, "Git 'er done!"

A New Arrival

Been a while since my last confession. Probably because I've been putting all my interesting life events into my monthly newsletters. 

We got an eight week old puppy on the 28th of January which has completely changed our lives and disrupted all patterns and positive habits I'd set up. Gone are the early writing mornings. Absent is the tri-weekly exercise regime. Suspiciously elsewhere are the healthy eating philosophy and one coffee-a-day rule. The daily guitar grind has dried up. Office is a mess. Don't know where anything is.

It's all gone, in the words of Aristotle, "These feta pies taste weird."

But "Use it or lose it" they say so here I am. They also say "Early to bed, early to rise..." but how am I supposed to unwind after a hard day with two hours of action-packed first-person shooter Apex Legends, trying to take out and/or hide from 50 other players bent on my immediate destruction and go to bed early at the same time? Impossible.

You see my problem.

A Day

Well, it's been a surprisingly good day.

Came to without much difficulty after a sober, not so late Friday night.

Son is recovering from covid therefore no school, so no rush to finish homework or get ready.

Took car to garage due to unpleasant rattling underneath floor and dropped it in at 9am saying hi to the guys.

Dropped a couple of Archers into the charity shop.

Went for coffee in the old cafe and did some proof-reading of The Luminari, chuckling despite myself at bits I'd forgotten writing.

Got a call halfway down my cup that car was already fixed.

Went back to pick it up (bumping into fellow West Lothian Writer and Film-maker Susi J Smith outside said charity shop) and they said a heat shield had come undone possibly due to going through water too fast (which I do recall doing). Didn't charge me.

Drove to car park behind Scotmid, kindly manoeuvring out the way of another car, the driver of which gave me an appreciative wave. Car no longer rattling.

Purchased some bread rolls and cartons of OJ.

Went for a walk around the graveyard of the old overgrown Kirk with my camera, but ultimately felt it was wrong to take any photos.

Thought about life and death, permanence and longevity, and counted my lucky stars I'd made it to 47, as back in the 1800s it didn't seem a given, or today.

Walked back to car where I put the seat back, wound down the windows, turned up the volume and listened to some Kaiser Chiefs asking me why I was so sad and reassuring me that sex makes everything better while proofreading more Luminari.

Drove home with unrattling car.

Actioned new edits on Luminari and scrolled social media until lunch.

Made myself a couple of rolls, a pot of tea and consumed while reading more of Billy Connolly's excellent autobiography, 'Windswept and Interesting'.

Prepared for lesson and went out for walk.

Narrowly avoided being roped into buying alcohol for underagers at the garage. Continued my stroll imagining what I'd do if I'd been confronted with a knife.

Had a nice good lesson.

Got an absurdly high after-buzz. Smashed out a few folk songs loudly on harmonica and guitar without realising wife had gone to bed.

Chatted briefly with son's friend through his earphones while in middle of Switch gameplay.

Powered by the hunger, came downstairs and made several hummus on crackers with sliced mini toms.

Continued amending blinds, now finished the whole right hand side.

Sat down with a cup of green tea and wrote this.

Got movie night and possibly a glass of wine to look forward to.

It's good to be alive.

Free at last!

Graduated from St Andrews University with a 2:1 BSc in Physics & Electronics.

Released at last from the education system I was now determined to make some of my own choices and see where they lead me, come what may. Little would I know until much later that a liver-related diabetic condition would be one such repercussion. A small baby growing into a young adult would be another.

I often look back and think, why on earth didn't I just get a well paid and stable physics-related job?

And in another dimension no doubt I look back and think, why on earth didn't I just throw caution to the wind and travel the world?