The Missing 'Old Mice' Ratty Chapter

I had a feeling I was on thin ice, so I skated gingerly over to where Ratty Rathbone was standing near the edge of the rink selling dope to teenagers.

Scraping to a halt I showered them with shavings.

“What the —” Then he saw me and all the blood drained from his furry, narrow face.

“Hello, Ratty,” I grinned. “Betcha didn’t expect to be seein’ me here?” 

“J-Jake!” he stammered. “No, yeah, well, I didn’t know you could skate!” Ratty’s whiskers twitched sporadically. His long nostrils flared. A thin, pink tongue flickered over his protruding front teeth. Crumbs of cheese fell from his stubble when he ran a scrawny claw over his chin. His long, tan overcoat was crumpled and stained in contrast to the shiny new skates he’d rented, upon which he tottered precariously. For balance, his other hand was hooked on the barrier rail surrounding the rink.

The teenagers drifted away as soon as they saw me. Some of them were already pretty high. One as high as a kite.

“Whatcha sellin’ these days, Ratty,” I said, peering up at them. “Helium?”

“No, Jake, j-just the usual mix, ya know. Herbal really, for relaxation purposes. Helps them study. Some o’ these kids have stressful home lives.”

“Aww, you’re a real do-gooder community figure,” I said, patting his jowls.

“W-what can I do you for, Jake?” Ratty sniffed, his eyes darting hither and thither. “The usual?”

“Nah, I’m here for some intel.” I watched the skaters of all ages, speeds and creeds whiz by in a clockwise direction. “What’s the lowdown on the Bayview Hotel?”

“The B-B-Bayview?!”

“You seem kinda nervous,” I growled. “Maybe you should take some o' your own medicine.”

“Aw, naw, Jake, I’m fine. It’s just that … every time you come around askin’ for info … well, somethin’ bad happens.”

“Come on, Ratty,” I said, gesturing around at the ice rink. “We’re in a wide open public space. What could possibly happen to you here?”

“Well,” he said, his tiny eyes like grains of salt burning through ice. “Okay. I guess. The Bayview Hotel is a hotel overlooking the bay.”

“No shit.”

“It was built in the 60s back in the boom years when racing car drivers and the like came down the coast rolling in dough. Then it got taken over by some shady new management and went downhill. Rumours of guests going missing didn’t help.”

“Rumours?”

“Yeah, nothin’ was ever proved but—”

“You sayin’ it’s haunted?”

Ratty sniggered, unable to hide the tone of hysteria which had crept in. A bit like the acrid stench of body odor his cologne was futilely charged with combatting. I could almost see the vapors rising from his tattered, ill-fitting garments. My eyes stung. “Naw, Jake, ha ha, that would be ridiculous.”

“You mentioned a take over.”

“I did?”

“Yeah, some shady new management, you said.”

His eyes darted about in a pitiful rendition of how they darted about a few minutes ago, except even more so. His tongue flickered over his dry, chapped lips. “It was a business venture run by a guy. Big, powerful. Dangerous.”

“Guy got a name?”

“Yeah,” Ratty gulped at the air like he had trouble breathing. “You’re not gonna believe this, it was Roger —”

We were interrupted when a huge, muscular slab of beef in a dark business suit shoved between us. He grunted, “‘Scuse me, ladies,” in a gruff voice and skated off, disappearing into the crowd.

When I returned my gaze to Ratty I found his expression had altered. 

His scrawny face, which had been flushed with the excitement of disclosure, had become ashen and drawn. He was looking down, one hand covering his abdomen. Red drips seeped through his fingers and dropped onto the white ice.

“Ratty?” I said. 

One knee buckled and I grabbed him by the shoulders, and then the other skate shot out from under him and he went down.

“Ah, shit.” I scanned the skaters but there was no sign of the hulking form that had pushed between us.

“Jake,” he muttered.

“Ratty,” I said. “The name. You were about to tell me the name. Roger who?”

“Jake,” he mumbled again. “Why? Life is so … futile …”

“No it ain’t Ratty, life is great. Now tell me the damn name!”

His head tipped sideways and his eyes half closed.

“Hell.” I stood up. “Medic!” I shouted. “We got a medic here?”

The skaters near us stared, gasped and cleared a space around us. A guy in white came running towards us from the direction of the office.

I knelt down. “It’s okay Ratty, it’s gonna be okay.”

“Cold,” he whispered. “So cold …”

With my number one informant and drug-dealer safely wheeled into an ambulance and whisked off to St Mary’s, I was free to continue my investigation. 

I figured the next stop was the Bayview Hotel.

Guests going missing? Guy called Roger? And who was the muscular giant who’d stabbed Ratty to shut him up? Was I being followed?

Ratty had given me more questions than answers.

And a desire to wash my nose out with disinfectant...

Many thanks to the team at West Lothian Writers for their valuable feedback on the above last night.

Read more of Jake Jones' 1st case The Old Mice Killer available on Amazon.

Dracula Untold : Film Review

Today I'd like to talk (write) about the 2014 Gary Shore film Dracula Untold (2014), written by Mark Sazama and Burk Sharpless, starring Luke Evans, which I stumbled upon while trying to get the taste of another film out of my head.

Fantastic performance from Luke Evans

I had heard nothing of Dracula Untold. It sounded like another trashy vampire film or even documentary, but popped up as a suggestion, and I was eager to find some way of watching something - literally anything - else that would take my mind off the last 90 minutes of my life I would never get back after watching - let's call it Film X - which has quite a lot of A list stars in it.

I thought, "I'll give this one five minutes and if it doesn't grab me I'm going to bed."

But to my surprise, it did. I found myself swept up immediately in a strange colour paletted world of heroism, tragedy and darkness. Something akin to the style of the film 300.

And then there was talk of Vlad the Impaler fighting Turks and I thought, right, okay, wasn't expecting Turks, but go on.

The main character, played expertly by Luke Evans, was a prince who had his head on his shoulders. But who was he? Was he Vlad the Impaler or the 'son of' narrator? He was leading an exploration with his soldierly mates on the rocks of a river that could have been the Clyde at New Lanark Mills, and I thought, "Right, a down to earth prince who has the smarts to figure out there's something nasty in the cave up there, and that corpses flow downstream, but what's the connection between him, Dracula of legend, his castle, and the Turkish threat?"

Something about Luke Evans, who I'd never seen before, suggested that he was a good man who didn't like doing bad things to save his family and people, but might if push came to shove, or so we, the audience, hoped. He had the consistent look I must have whenever I have to do something unpleasant but must be done for the greater good, like clean the bathroom, or wake up early.

And then it turned out he was going to give away his only son to become a child soldier of the Turks even after explicitly promising not to! What!? No!? Tell me it ain't so, Luke! If he does this, I'm going to bed right away in disgust!

And then they're on the hill and he's just on the verge of handing his own son over and lose him forever, and I thought, "No! He can't do that!" and the Turk laughs, "To be honest, we thought you would offer a little more ... resistance." And the prince kneels down and whispers to his son, 

"Go back to your mother ..."

It's that moment, that precise second, when a certainty descends on you and you know things are going to get interesting.

Gary Shore's Dracula Untold does not disappoint. Especially if you have kids of your own, you will be on the edge of your (in my case) hammock every second from that point on. So much at stake (pun not intended but I'll take it). If you've seen the equally excellent Maleficent (completely different writer and director) which tells a popular tale from a totally different angle that spins your head around 720º, you'll have an idea what I'm talking about.

I asked myself, "These two films - Dracula Untold and Film X - are absolute polar opposites. One is amazing, starring a host of (to me) unknown actors, writers and director, and the other has all the big names but is a complete damp squib. What happened? What went wrong?"

Here's what I came up with.

• It goes all the way back to Concept. Even before Script, there is Concept. Dracula Untold is just a good idea from the get go. It's an original dark love story which turns the classic tale upside down. That's a huge strength, because it will always surprise us.
• Film X borrowed a lot from other films like Highlander, Batman etc. In many ways Film X was an 80s film made in the 2020s.
• Dracula Untold was a labour of love for the writers. The two obviously spent many hours drinking coffee and/or alcohol together bouncing ideas of each other and the wall thinking to themselves, "This is gonna kick ass."
• The writer(s) of Film X seemed to be thinking, well, we need a vehicle for these A List stars to do their thing, and we need it by this deadline. So what should we do?
• The director of Dracula Untold was on a whole other level from the beginning. He loved the script, he loved vampires, he loved messing with people's heads, he had a love of cinema and liked to take risks. He was a fan of 300. It was a passion project and will probably be his own favourite creation for years to come.
• The director of Film X seemed like he turned up on Monday morning and worked 9-5. He (or she) put in the required hours. But maybe the script didn't inspire. (S)he probably also thought, 'this sounds like it's an 80s film in the 2020s.' But I'll do what I can with it, because of the A listers.
• There's a big plot hole in Film X which at some point, someone reading the script should have raised a red flag. "No, this doesn't work, sorry," they should have said. But they didn't. Or they did and no-one listened. Possibly due to the fear of the A-listers being on board.
• Dracula Untold has all new faces, save one, the original vampire who I recognised. Film X, had several huge names, all of whom were unable to shake their previous roles adequately to convincingly portray these ones. But I get it. They need to work like the rest of us. But do I need to watch?
• During a snuggle scene between Luke Evans' character and his wife, there was a bit of a spark. I actually thought, "Ooh, that's nice, it's almost as if they fancy each other." No sparks in Film X. Unless you get turned on by awkwardness and plot holes.
• The special effects and make up were good in both films. Better in Dracula Untold, though, if I'm being honest. But they were also used more effectively. In Film X, the SFX were like: "Look! A monster!" whereas in Dracula Untold, they were like: "Holy shit! Look what that fucking monster is doing!"

Yeah, that's about all the facets of these two films I can analyse at the moment. One a diamond; the other only glass.

To sum up then, I'd recommend watching Dracula Untold.

But not Film X.