Two Birds, One Dog

Another Sunday befalls us.

It occurs to me that if I take gardening gloves on my 7am walk with the dog and pick up a handful of garbage before each bin, and drop it in, my life on this earth is not entirely wasted.

A good feeling is born, which mingles with the dew and dawn, and makes the surrounding nature more aesthetically pleasing. Just a little each day, and oh, how much easier on the eyes is the undergrowth. 

A crushed Monster can gives way to new-born nettles. A plastic Golden Wonder wrapper makes way for baby trees. A rusting tin can from aeons before, somehow disgorged from the soil since yesterday, succumbs to human hand and creates a safe space for fresh, green, dew-drop laden blades of grass to reach for the carbon enriched air, and, by merely doing what it does, convert it, molecule by molecule, to oxygen.

What if we are just aliens on an alien planet with alien problems?

Overcrowding, pollution and over-consumption of food and raw materials. It must happen to every species in a confined space eventually.

But for the meanwhile, it truly feeds the soul to cast one's gaze around the nature-scape and find it litter-free, reminded not of humanity's foibles, but of Mother Earth's simple beauty.

Uncut Gems

Just a quickie as it's been a long time since my last post.

Having a puppy has completely changed my life priorities. It used to be : Write this! Achieve that! Play the next thing! Organise this! Now it's:

Doze on sofa with diminutive, furry life-form.

Damn.

But I do recall a time when I enjoyed the writing process. I think it happened just before I realised I hated the editing process.

It's a beautiful Easter Sunday morning here, with brightness refracting through dew drops and sunlight licking the underside of leaves. A discarded kid's bicycle lies half on the road. Neighbours are out walking and glow at the pup, who rolls over at the slightest sign of attention.

Rather than hide away upstairs playing Apex last night I stayed downstairs with the pup on my lap and flicked through films on the fire-stick. After successfully avoiding the western remake (yee-haw!) of 'The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo' with Daniel Craig, I settled upon a 2019 film for which Adam Sandler (I wanna Grow Old With You) won an Independent Spirit Award For Best Male Lead, Uncut Gems. 

Uncut Gems (2019)

I was only going to watch half as it was getting late, but something about the film kept me up. Things seemed to be going from bad to worse for the poor guy and I had to find out if he could make it. Such a great performance from Adam Sandler, who we're so used to seeing in comedies. According to Wikipedia, career-defining.

I can't reveal too much about the film: I just recommend you view it for yourself. It's a transformation. Rated 15 there is a lot of strong language, so if you're going to be watching something with family I might suggest Murder Mystery 2 (rated 12), which is also a pretty good and recent film of Sandler's (and Jennifer Aniston's!) film which my son and I enjoyed.

Murder Mystery 2 (2023)

Well, I suppose I should get back to my adulting responsibilities, such as pottering in the garden not getting much done and trying to remember where I left my memory.

Thanks for reading.

A New Arrival

Been a while since my last confession. Probably because I've been putting all my interesting life events into my monthly newsletters. 

We got an eight week old puppy on the 28th of January which has completely changed our lives and disrupted all patterns and positive habits I'd set up. Gone are the early writing mornings. Absent is the tri-weekly exercise regime. Suspiciously elsewhere are the healthy eating philosophy and one coffee-a-day rule. The daily guitar grind has dried up. Office is a mess. Don't know where anything is.

It's all gone, in the words of Aristotle, "These feta pies taste weird."

But "Use it or lose it" they say so here I am. They also say "Early to bed, early to rise..." but how am I supposed to unwind after a hard day with two hours of action-packed first-person shooter Apex Legends, trying to take out and/or hide from 50 other players bent on my immediate destruction and go to bed early at the same time? Impossible.

You see my problem.

Film Review : Flight 2012 Denzel Washington

Flight is a 2012 film starring Denzel Washington with fantastic cameos from John Goodman, directed by Robert Zemeckis, and written by John Gatlins, loosely inspired by the true story of Alaska Airlines Flight 261.

I began writing this review on 4th December, which is quite a while ago now, as I got side-tracked by the fact that this was inspired by a true story. While reading the Wikipedia article of Alaska Airlines Flight 261, I almost filled my pants - and I don't mean with popcorn - as I came to terms with the thought of being in a commercial airliner that had just plummeted a ridiculous amount of altitude in a fraction of a second and the only recourse left to the pilots was to TURN THE PLANE UPSIDE DOWN.

This actually happened.

I'm so glad that due to concerns about the emissions caused by air travel I have vowed to never fly again, because if I hadn't, after watching this film I would vow to never fly again again. Now I have two concurrent vows.

But back to the film itself. For some reason I came at it with the assumption that it was a huge conspiracy and someone on the plane was to be assassinated for some reason. Which might have actually made it a better film. But halfway through it became clear the pilot was in no fit shape to even consider conducting an investigation due to his life-altering drinking problem.

I was like, Jeez, come on Denzel, get it together man, you've got a mystery to solve. Someone on that plane was meant to die, and why and by whom, and you can't even stay off the booze long enough to walk straight let alone check the passenger list.

Eventually I had to concede that there was no conspiracy and that no-one on the plane was meant to die and the battle with alcohol was the story.

And then I was reminded that sometimes good people make mistakes, and imperfect humans save lives.

Part of the reason to find out how much of the film was true to life was to unearth whether all the stuff about the pilot being an alcoholic relying on cocaine to get himself fit enough to fly was accurate. But there is no mention of this in the Wikipedia article.

So you're watching the film and the end is approaching and you're thinking, okay Denzel, you've stayed sober for eight days leading up to the trial. You can do this. Just stay on the wagon one more night. Eight more hours. Then you can pretend you're the hero we all want to believe.

And then it all goes tits up and I'm crying like a motherf*^$er.

Verdict: Must watch. But not on a plane.

Billy Connolly - Windswept & Interesting

Great. Fascinating. Funny. Tragic. Heartwarming. Insightful. Memorable.

Some of the words to describe Billy Connolly's autobiography.

I first discovered Billy on an 18 rated VHS tape in my parents' TV cabinet when I was 15 or so. He was wearing a white and black striped suit and doing stand up, possibly at the Albert Hall. It was the funniest stuff I'd ever seen. His stories were rude, rambling, hilarious and familiar. Hairy guy with a beard from Glasgow. You've probably seen him. He cracked me up. Royally.

I've had a lot of love for the man over the years, and I've enjoyed seeing his success go from strength to strength. I watched a movie with him and Liam Neeson in it recently without his beard, where they both play Scottish ex-miners down on their luck, The Big Man (1990), and it's always a pleasure to see him pop up on screen, with some of his Parkinson interviews the most golden. But his standup routines were always the best. Have a look at the episode with Kenny Everett below.

So when I saw his autobiography I snapped it up alongside Bob Mortimer's unsure of how it would turnout. I had a feeling he'd mellowed with age and become soft, living the life of Riley over in the States. But that's not really the case.

It's like a long letter from Billy to you. A long rambling, winding, detailed, funny, terrible, honest trip down memory lane. Feels like he's telling you stuff over a pint.

A lot of it has been told before on stage and in interviews, perhaps about 8 or 9%, but you forgive him that, because after all, he is a living legend, and he's been to hell and back, and he deserves a good life, and he's written you this wonderful, long, personal letter.

Hats aff tae the Big Yin!

A Day

Well, it's been a surprisingly good day.

Came to without much difficulty after a sober, not so late Friday night.

Son is recovering from covid therefore no school, so no rush to finish homework or get ready.

Took car to garage due to unpleasant rattling underneath floor and dropped it in at 9am saying hi to the guys.

Dropped a couple of Archers into the charity shop.

Went for coffee in the old cafe and did some proof-reading of The Luminari, chuckling despite myself at bits I'd forgotten writing.

Got a call halfway down my cup that car was already fixed.

Went back to pick it up (bumping into fellow West Lothian Writer and Film-maker Susi J Smith outside said charity shop) and they said a heat shield had come undone possibly due to going through water too fast (which I do recall doing). Didn't charge me.

Drove to car park behind Scotmid, kindly manoeuvring out the way of another car, the driver of which gave me an appreciative wave. Car no longer rattling.

Purchased some bread rolls and cartons of OJ.

Went for a walk around the graveyard of the old overgrown Kirk with my camera, but ultimately felt it was wrong to take any photos.

Thought about life and death, permanence and longevity, and counted my lucky stars I'd made it to 47, as back in the 1800s it didn't seem a given, or today.

Walked back to car where I put the seat back, wound down the windows, turned up the volume and listened to some Kaiser Chiefs asking me why I was so sad and reassuring me that sex makes everything better while proofreading more Luminari.

Drove home with unrattling car.

Actioned new edits on Luminari and scrolled social media until lunch.

Made myself a couple of rolls, a pot of tea and consumed while reading more of Billy Connolly's excellent autobiography, 'Windswept and Interesting'.

Prepared for lesson and went out for walk.

Narrowly avoided being roped into buying alcohol for underagers at the garage. Continued my stroll imagining what I'd do if I'd been confronted with a knife.

Had a nice good lesson.

Got an absurdly high after-buzz. Smashed out a few folk songs loudly on harmonica and guitar without realising wife had gone to bed.

Chatted briefly with son's friend through his earphones while in middle of Switch gameplay.

Powered by the hunger, came downstairs and made several hummus on crackers with sliced mini toms.

Continued amending blinds, now finished the whole right hand side.

Sat down with a cup of green tea and wrote this.

Got movie night and possibly a glass of wine to look forward to.

It's good to be alive.

The 2022 Scottish Short Film Festival

On the weekend of 24/25 September 2022 the 10th anniversary Scottish Short Film Festival (SSFF) was held at the Scottish Storytelling Centre in John Knox House on the Royal Mile. The red carpet was out, the banners were up and the stage was glittering with awards from Judges’ 1st Prize to Golden Raptor.

One of the growing list of independent film festivals that has sprung up in the past decade to showcase and encourage film in and about Scotland, the SSFF has continued to shine a light on home-grown talent, providing a stage for those interested in pursuing careers, dreams and passion in the film industry.

This year the festival received a record-breaking 122 entries, or around 22 hours’ run-time, all with a relation to Scotland. These films were then carefully scrutinized by seven experienced and qualified judges, and reviewed and rated across many criteria, from editing to sound. Those film-makers whose films were unable to be shown were given advice and feedback on their craft for perhaps getting their films shown at festivals in the future.

Me and my Wallace & Grommit tie

The festival has been held in many venues over the years, including the Grosvenor Cinema in Glasgow when their inaugural festival was hosted by celebrated actor David Anderson in 2012, Howden Park Centre in Livingston, The Bathgate Regal, The Glasgow Art School and even the Crowne Plaza Hotel on the banks of the River Clyde.

Returning festival director Chris Young said, “Every year we are consistently surprised and delighted by the creativity, ingenuity, style, talent, skill and humour that exist in the film-making community in Scotland, and those around the world with an interest in Scotland.

“It was wonderful to host the event right in the centre of the capital this year,” says Chris. “surrounded by so much historic Scottish culture, and in the Scottish Storytelling Centre no less, because isn’t that really what film is all about?”

The SSFF not only awarded 19 prizes this year, but most came with nominations, giving even more accolades for people in the industry to add to their résumés.

Asked if there are ever any challenges to be overcome, Chris said, “There are always hiccups and surprises along the way. One year I was prevented from getting into Glasgow for a radio interview because it was so hot the rails were melting and signal boxes malfunctioning. Sometimes technical equipment that was working fine one moment just refuses to the next.”

The red carpet

But the last straw for Chris was getting his I-phone stolen halfway through an event in Glasgow in 2019. “I’d either stupidly or naively left it on the sound desk during the intermission. It was a sell out crowd thanks to the amazing efforts of Gina Vereker, and things were going great. I was using the phone to message host William Samson notes about each film backstage. But when I came back from the bar it was gone.” Panic ensued. The technician went away to check CCTV footage, leaving Chris in the booth with a sea of incomprehensible buttons and lights before him, and the mics didn’t come on for a Q&A, rendering the host and film guests on stage speechless, literally. “But we got through it. The worst part was trying to learn how to read train timetables again in order to get home.”

From that night Chris vowed it was his last film festival. But fortunately Gina Vereker was there to carry the torch over the next two years, expertly navigating the pandemic and lockdowns, taking everything smoothly online and into the 21st century.

Awards!

“This way were able to go worldwide and reach a much bigger, international audience with the films. We hosted the 2020 awards ceremony live-streaming while adhering to social distancing guidelines, windows open and cats everywhere, using a green screen in Gina’s kitchen. On camera it actually looked great.”

The 2021 awards ceremony was live-streamed from the Glasgow studio of one of their long-standing sponsors Acting Coach Scotland, hosted by Olivia Millar-Ross. “Olivia and the Acting Coach Scotland team were a real pleasure to work with. Professional, experienced and charming.”

The 1815 team

With Gina at the helm and Chris as advisor and technical assistant, running the festival online presented its own challenges. “It was like building a plane in the air,” says Chris. “We had no idea what to do – we just had to do it using what we knew and what we had available.”

After the success of two online events, Gina was ready to move on, and asked Chris if he would take the annually recurring event back on again. “Gina and I both love film events, but making films and organising events are two separate skillsets, one more stressful while the other more creative,” says Chris. “And I’m getting to an age where my body doesn’t always agree enthusiastically with what my mind tells it to do.”

But despite all the niggling worries and concerns, Chris agreed to take the festival back on again. “If I can keep a work-life balance and be more zen-like about the whole thing, maybe it’ll be okay.” And this year, with plenty of exercise, pre-planning, healthy eating and drinking, and a smaller, more inclusive venue, it worked.

A key pressure-reducer was the kind provision of accommodation in the centre of Edinburgh by another sponsor: Private House Stays. “One of the worst parts of the situation is trying to get home after a screening when you’re buzzing and exhausted and have mind-fog. So I called up Private House Stays hoping to get a discount and share some mutual publicity and they offered me a free stay, not just for one night, for two!”

So was it a success this year? “I think it was. My job at the end of the day was to turn up, make sure the films played, and hand out a few awards. As long as those things went smoothly, I was happy, and they did. We had a great team. The staff at the SSC were fantastic, our volunteers Ben McBain and Ryan Vallo were invaluable, the film-makers seemed happy with the way their films were played, and the audience were satisfied with the amazing selection of films this year. We also couldn’t have achieved what we did without our sponsors, including Wexpresif in Livingston, who helped fund a live captioner to transcribe anything said on stage into captions on the big screen, and Solar Bear who provided a sign language interpreter for any members in the audience who were deaf, making the Saturday screening much more inclusive.”

Eric Romero & Rachel Flynn (Terminal Happiness)

The winners:

1815, written & directed by Neil Boyle, won : Best Actor (Iain MacRae), Best Sound (Scott Walker), Best Cinematography (Kasparas Vidūnas), Best Script, Acting Coach Rising Star Award (Kayla Caldwell), Saturday Audience Choice and Judges’ 1st Prize.

Terminal Happiness, directed by Eric Romero, won : Best Costume / Make Up (Kerttu Reinmaa & Elise Sepp), Best Music (Margaryta Kulichova), Best Director and Sunday Audience Choice. 

Whale Heart, written and directed by Phillip Edge, won : Judges’ 2nd Prize and Private House Stays Most Creative/Original.

Snapshot, written by Steve Johnson and Carrie Dodds, directed by Steve Johnson, won Best Actress (Kirsty Strain).

Shooting Animals, written and directed by Libby Penman, won Best Documentary.

Professor Henry Bowfax’s Fantastic Journey Through Time! written and directed by Robert Howat, won The Golden Raptor Award.

Neolith, written and directed by Garry & Ross Ferrier, won Best Editing.

The Longest Line, directed by Ellie & Matt Green, won the Thomas Haywood Best Use Of Scottish Landscape Award.

Love Letter To Glasgow, by Myria Chrystophini won Best Animation.

So will you run it again next year? Chris says, “Don’t know yet. It was a great weekend with so many outstanding films and heart-warming to see so many smiles and meet new people, but I need a rest. Ask me again in a month or so.”

Find out more about the film festival by visiting www.scottishshortfilmfestival.com
Facebook - www.facebook.com/ScottishShortFilmFestival
Twitter - @ScottishShorts
Instagram - Scottishshortfilmfestival